It's good to hear you don't miss it or regret it. We needed my income, and for the most part, I enjoyed my career. You are mama bear, and I hear your roar. However if you do give up work completely and regret it, will it be so easy to find part time work later? Susan - I have chosen to be a sahm and look after DD myself full time. That means today was officially the end of my maternity leave. Going back to work, whether it is by choice or necessity, is a tough decision for many women. DD is my only child so far and is nearly 11 months old. xxx. Which means that many working mothers are faced with very little choice when it comes to going back to work; they simply canât afford to be a stay-at-home mom.However, there are plenty of mothers who choose to go back to work for other reasons: they love their jobs, they love their coworkers, and they love contributing to their family finances. As a father, I feel that same pressure, but probably not as intensely as she does. In fact, that would probably be my ideal. Both are doing well. For One Year, What Does It Matter If We Break Our Traditions? So, just after my son turned four months old, I reached out to my employer about returning early. It is clear you want to do this so even though you like your job you must go with your instincts on this one or you will only be unhappy. C. Help, I don't want to go back to work and leave my babyâ¦ It's better to ease into work. She's my best friend and everything she says, has learned, does, has come from family.... not some person in a childcare setting. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, Fiona that is so sweet I feel similar to you. My job was interesting and varied and reasonably, tho not stunningly, well paid. In this situation, youâll have to pay back not only the companyâs share of the premium, but also your share of the premiumâif you failed to pay it and the company paid it for you. At home, early AM: Nurse and pump At caregiver's: Nurse At work: Mid morning: Pump Home > Community > Birth Month > November 2016 Babies > Help, I don't want to go back to work and leave my baby! My baby is only a couple of months old. When you return to work after maternity leave, itâs important to know your rights. We reserve the right to close comments at any time. I had no intention of returning to work as I hated where I was. I'm going back 3 days per week but have had to drop down a level to do this.
But then came my maternity leave, and then five long weeks later, came the baby. It has now been more than six months since I returned to work, and I realize that not being the stay-at-home mom I thought I might be doesn’t make me a bad mom. It was most definitely the best decision for me and my family. You need to give the correct notice and it may affect any holiday pay youâre due. As it happened it was with young children. I asked for my hours to be reduced to under 30hrs week and to not have any more than 4 shifts in a row. Comments on this story are moderated according to our Submission Guidelines. You might feel like a crazy, overprotective lunatic riddled with separation anxiety. I would suggest that you go with your feelings and be a sahm. When it came to it, I just couldn't return to work. That was not what we agreed for. Susan - I have chosen to be a sahm and look after DD myself full time. It's good to hear you don't miss it or regret it. (That is not a dig at anyone by the way)
Comments are welcome while open. Adult conversation, different friends and then so appreciating your baby when you got home. You can really set the framework and a great foundation for your child. If I were you, given that you have such a supportive boss and the opportunity to go back part time, I think you should give it a go. I was lucky to have a genuine choice financially, one upside of infertility is that while you're trying and the clock is ticking, your financial position eases. That was not me. November 2016 Babies. I think that it's a lot to do with their nature as well as experiences. I have a good job (reasonably interesting, professional, very well paid). I have read your other thread so I know you have been through a difficult time recently. Near the end of my six-week maternity leave, I went to work for a few hours to check e-mail and clear the mail off my desk so it wouldn't be so overwhelming to come back. I do three hours a week private tutoring and my Mum looks after DD for that time but I am still in the house as the pupils come to me after they finish school. Thank you for sharing your experience though... giving up work would mean I would have to re-train at some point, but I was just thinking - oh well, then I'll re-train then. My hubby earns a good wage but our mortgage is extortionate and so we have had to make massive cut backs and not have nights out (cant do these with dd anyway) and we havent had a holiday in years however, we feel this is worth while to be at home with dd. Leave Group. I had a supportive boss and great colleagues. Gave up work once i had my DD. After a lot of heartbreak along the way, I finally became a mum at 38, so I'd worked for many yrs in a professional position before becoming a mum. I thought it might be an opportunity to do soemthing completely different -and that that might be good... but it would probably be a big cut in income, as I am quite senior at the moment (I'm an older mum (41) so I've had plenty of time to work my way up). I know I did. We might look at our own parents and think of how we will be different, and how we won’t make the same mistakes. My OH's wage does not even cover our bills, I am the higher earner. First, many moms feel pressured to return to work before theyâre ready, while simultaneously pulled to be at home with their little ones â and this overwhelming push-pull conflict can be quite painful and confusing. My friend has told me about a great daycare that she uses It is a great deal easier to go back to work if you have good quality childcare arranged for your baby. PHOTOGRAPHY BY Lokibaho/Getty Images. Need a bit of support with this whole parenting lark? We value and respect the views and opinions of our all our contributors on CBC Parents, however these opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CBC. I do three hours a week private tutoring and my Mum looks after DD for that time but I am still in the house as the pupils come to me after they finish school. However you plan to use your shared parental leave, it's likely that either you or your partner will go back to work at some point during the fourth trimester, leaving the other to care for the baby during the day.This can be a difficult adjustment for both of you. ... MN Jobs home Find a Job Search employers Recruiters Job alerts Flexible working Maternity leave Returning to work A day in the life Family friendly programme Careers advice Problems at work I will find something part time when she starts nursery and then when she's at school, i may find a job in childcare myself as she will finish school at 3.30pm and no one lives near us and i have a hard time trusting anyone else to pick her up on time. My OH's wage does not even cover our bills, I am the higher earner. In the end, to appease my OH (who was pretty shocked and none to pleased at the prospect of being main breadwinner) I requested to return part time, two days per week. Leaving baby for the first time or to go back to work is so incredibly hard. When I asked my wife about whether she feels the same pressure to financially provide, she admitted she did not. I really missed my child. I'm in the lucky position of having 9 months paid maternity leave, but My little one is coming up on 3 months now, and I feel like I could only realistically have gone back to work from about 10 weeks at the earliest, once my baby settled into a better nighttime routine. I had no idea I would feel like this before I had him!! In the end, to appease my OH (who was pretty shocked and none to pleased at the prospect of being main breadwinner) I requested to return part time, two days per week. Asking My Wife To Go Back To Work. I will probably look for some contracting work once she is at school though (she is 3.5 now). Throughout my first pregnancy, I counted the days until maternity leave started, but I always assumed I would return to work. Logically I am sure they would have done a good job but I am her Mum and I felt my place was with my baby. While Iâm sure many parents go through a stage where they question their ability to be parents, I â¦ It was going to be good. Some states family leave laws have similar reimbursement provisions. Her pressure is to ensure that our boy gets cared for and loved as much as possible. I found the thought of leaving her to be looked after by someone else extremely traumatic. Though I'd virtually never left him before he started, my son joined his nursery class at 2 yrs 9 mths a confident little boy, no tears, no backward glances and he is doing really well, as sociable as I would expect. Don't want to go back to work after leave? Please note that CBC does not endorse the opinions expressed in comments. The problem I have is I cannot leave dd. If you decide not to go back to your job, you can resign at any time while youâre on parental leave. i went on mat leave almost 2 years ago (dd 20 months) so my registration will lapse this year, its near impossible to get a job espec when i have been out of it for so long and so it looks like i will have to retrain to do something else but like i said dd is more important and losing my mum taught me that all the more. Nobody was more surprised than me when I ended my maternity leave three months before my year was up and went back to work when my son was nine months old. 2.) No. Note: The CBC does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. We've really struggled on one wage (We pay child maintenance, run a car, etc) and some months have been so tight we've had to sell things on ebay to keep afloat. Maybe I should try and think of something else I could do to fill in. I have a good job (reasonably interesting, professional, very well paid). "My leave was 12 weeks. I didn’t want my kids growing up like I did, with a mother who was both working and taking classes throughout my childhood. Six weeks is considered the normal length of "disability" leave following delivery. About the same time as you, when DD was eight months old I started to really freak out about going back. Then you can follow a similar sequence to the one above, nursing your baby before you leave for increasing amounts of time. Yes, you will feel like youâre not getting âenoughâ done. I dont know if it makes the child more clingy, mine is a bit shy but i think when they are 3 they go to nursery where they can gain a bit of independence then. I dont know if it makes the child more clingy, mine is a bit shy but i think when they are 3 they go to nursery where they can gain a bit of independence then. He currently goes to a childminder and I work part time (22 hours a week). Although it's affecting my career, I can't imagine going back full time. I would suggest that you go with your feelings and be a sahm. Of course you can modify this for your own circumstances. We have a lovely time each day we go to different playgroups & find different activitIes. I worked for 3 months part-time at my office while my husband was on parental leave (2 days a week). That was not me. Final thing - promise! I planned to be with them as much as I could, perhaps even working only part-time until they were in school. i have days when i panic i have 'thrown it all away' but i love being a sahm (dont get me wrong it can be tough some days and even 'boring' at times but isnt any job?) I filled out the paperwork and picked a start date, deciding not to rush into anything just in case it was the hormones talking. They said yes but then after one week changed it back to 37hr and 6 shifts in a row. Ive sort of been on both sides of the coin. Good luck and let us know of your decision. (im 27)
I am lucky with ... Read more on Netmums It is clear you want to do this so even though you like your job you must go with your instincts on this one or you will only be unhappy. One of my biggest plans was to spend time with my future children. COVID 19 If youâve been affected, Work and Income may be able to help: COVID-19 â Work and Income Interviews are in November though and even holding to a notice period of 12 weeks, if I was successful I'd need to start when my baby is 6 months old. I would add that I cannot imagine being able to cope with the stresses of work and being a Mum too. i figure lifes to short and if i need to work in crappy jobs in the future or retrain or something i will cross that bridge when it comes - they are only young for a short period of time and i dont want to miss out on anything...i have the rest of my life to work when my kids are older. That pretty much confirmed for me that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I am a mum of 3 and went back to work when all 3 were 5 months old out of financial necessity . I was really good at work and hardly cried because apart from anything else of all the terrible. I am (was) also a teacher. I couldn't think of going back!!! For example, if you take a year of maternity leave and did not use any holiday before you went off, you could have a yearâs worth of holiday accrued when you go back to work. I was so not ready to go back. There is a reason people line up childcare when they go back to work after maternity leave and paternity leave â because itâs simply not possible to put in a full day of work while also being responsible for the full-time care of your baby. :hiya: Thank you for sharing your experience though... giving up work would mean I would have to re-train at some point, but I was just thinking - oh well, then I'll re-train then. I had a supportive boss and great colleagues. :(, 3 week old impossible to settle after night feeds. My employer would probably be happy for me to delay my return till DD is 14 months, and offer part-time of 3 days a week. In fact, that would probably be my ideal. Would you leave your child to work abroad? We all have ideas of the kind of parent we are going to be long before we have kids. I couldn't and, by then knew, asking granny wouldn't work and childcare fees would've eaten into my earnings considerably leaving very little clear.
Hi all, Well after some number crunching it seems there is no way I can afford to go back to work after my mat leave finishes. Good luck with your decision x. How did it work out? If you would like to submit an idea for an article or opinion piece, or have feedback to share, we'd love to hear from you in the comments below or you can send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Menu. The reaction was mixed. I hated the hassle of organising childcare and felt the house ran smoother on the days I was at home. I can send the baby to my mother. I have left her with hubby for about 3 hours max, which she has been sleeping most of. Itâs normal to feel anxiety when going back to work after baby, but preparing yourself will make the transition easier, for you AND baby. While I’m sure many parents go through a stage where they question their ability to be parents, I began wondering if I could last a year at home with my son. I have the opportunity to go for a new job that would offer less UK travel, and hopefully greater work life balance. By submitting your comments, you acknowledge that CBC has the right to reproduce, broadcast and publicize those comments or any part thereof in any manner whatsoever. Although it's been a while since I had to do that with my little princess, I vividly remember those days and felt like it would be a great topic to discuss. Does anyone else have any view? Some women are happy to go back to work after having a baby. By Sarah Foster I'm glad I made this decision, have absolutely no regrets and would make the same one again. I don't know if I'll manage to get back into teaching again. However, biggest downside is that it will well and truly screw my career. DD2 is almost 8 months, so I am thinking about my return to work. I don't think I would have been able to have as much patience and do as good a job with my DD with the stress of work as well. No one else has had her (she's 15 months). The childcare dilemma can be extremely stressful, but once you've found a solution that works for your family, it makes life much easier if you're returning to work. This is the place to get it! I am (was) also a teacher. Especially interested to hear from anyone who went back after a first child, but couldn't do it after no 2. Hereâs what you should know about your job, pay, holidays and flexible working before you go back to work. Even when I was pregnant, these were mostly my plans. I hated the hassle of organising childcare and felt the house ran smoother on the days I was at home. Youâve been on maternity leave for 26 weeks or less Youâre entitled to return to the same job after maternity leave if youâve been away 26 weeks or less. All rights reserved, Christmas Craft: Stained Glass Tissue Paper Shapes For Your Tree Or Window, Christmas Craft: Fabric Scrap Santa Ornament, Christmas Craft: Folded Paper Ball Ornament. I've also heard some hospitals dont allow siblings at scans. But I suppose I find the IDEA of giving up work difficult - I have been worrying that I'd lose my identity - people always ask: what do you DO? The question of going back to work after maternity leave isnât always an easy one, especially if youâre on the fence. sorry im waffling but do whats right for you and your family - i am lucky in that my husbnad fully supports and encourages my decision to stay at home so while tight for us (we are relying on savings at the minute to be honest) we feel overall it was the best. Some women are happy to go back to work after having a baby. i went to uni, studied nursing and worked for 5 years in various areas building my experience then had my dd and while i planned to return to work i was hoping to get nightshift or 2 days so sahm most of the time and my mum was going to look after dd but things happened....my mum died, we dont see my in laws so no one to help with childcare and i was refused part time work - my dd is the most important thing to me and i coudnt bare to leave her so i didnt return. I am dreading it. There isn't a day since I left work that I feel I'm missing out on work, I'm quite self sufficient and enjoy the company of young children (just as well as I worked as an advisory teacher so worked mostly with young children with little adult company during the day anyway) so I don't miss adult company that's a real issue for many mums. After all, she has me. I found the reality of working with a child pretty mince - the work I got given as a part-timer wasn't that interesting. Is It Possible to Parent One-Handed? I don't think at that young age nursery can give your child anything you can't and I think you can give them so much more. They are not little for long and you can never get these early years back which are joyous and with so many firsts, so much to teach and learn.
Working 3 days seems like the perfect balance to me. I did enjoy some things about teaching but wouldn't call myself a high flying career woman ever. In fact, I think having some space apart helps me miss him and truly appreciate the time we do have together. Maybe I should try and think of something else I could do to fill in. each to their own....
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